Christian Men as Servant Leaders

Incredible Insights from CBMC Session

January 10, 2023

Women want security, men want respect. Women want to be seen and listened to, while men want to fix things.

  • Listening – really listening, promotes security in women.

Sometimes our communication sounds like this (Casey’s quote for the day):

  • “I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” Alan Greenspan

Discussion is a rational interchange about ideas and concepts.

Conversations are interactions of the heart and emotions.

  • Men are better at discussions, while women are better at, and desire conversations.
  • A conversation is not alternating monologues in which while one person is speaking, the other person is formulating their response. This is not really listening.
  • Are we really listening to our wives, and to each other and to GOD?
  • We should listen to HEAR, not just RESPOND.

The Hebrew word for submit is TO DRAW NEAR, to complete the husband.

  • This is a completely different concept than the common understanding of submit.

We husbands must be ready to die for our wives, not do battle with them. We can’t do this in the flesh; only in the Spirit. The Word says they are weaker vessels, so we are to cover and shield our wives.

Most women want a strong male leader, but our culture is very anti-male in the Biblical sense, and anti-female as well.

The media claims the divorce rate is similar, if not higher, among Christians as non-Christians. However, the divorce rate among committed Christians is lower than the average.

We are the bride of Christ. What does that mean and look like?

  • Compared to Christ, we are weaker vessels.
  • We were born to serve and to submit to God.
  • We are to draw close to Him, and when we draw close to Him, He will draw close to us.
  • Even though Christ is complete, we were created with the capacity and desire to be one with Christ. So He is even more complete when we as the bride, marry Christ the groom in the Spirit. The marriage feast of the Lamb described in the Word celebrates this union.

Praying to God is more about praising and listening than asking for stuff. Daniel praised God for everything, and always started his prayers with praising God.

Meekness is power under control. It is knowing when to give grace and mercy, and when to stand up.

We had some relatives who we were estranged from. But when we started serving them and doing things for them, our relationship was re-established. God says: “Blessed are the peacemakers.”

Sometimes it takes our world to be crushed and our heart to be broken to become more compassionate.

Every event in our lives is a parable through which God speaks to us.

We are to be spiritual leaders in our homes, not dictators.

Same in churches – we are called to serve people who are hurting, not run the church like a business.

What does walking in the Spirit look like?

  • Joy, singing in the Lord, praying, looking for divine appointments,
  • A total awareness of what is going on around me and within me – being totally open to His direction.
  • It is always a progression. God has His hands on us, to work through us.

Why Are We So Easily Deceived? Gold Nuggets from Christian Business Men’s Zoom Session

With its founding in the Great Depression, Christian Businessmen’s Committee (now Christian Business Men’s Connection) is an organization dedicated to bringing the saving Gospel of Jesus Christ to business and professional men all over the world.  You can learn more about CBMC here:

The Little Rock CBMC held a zoom session this past Tuesday, October 12. It was very productive, as we gathered in Jesus’ name.  Here are some key points that emerged from the session, along with prayer requests:

Six Key Points emerged from our discussion:

1) Why are we so easily deceived, as described in I Timothy 1:3-7? (Gordon)

As I urged you when I went into Macedonia—remain in Ephesus that you may charge some that they teach no other doctrine,nor give heed to fables and endless genealogies, which cause disputes rather than godly edification which is in faith.            I Timothy 1:3-4

  • If I know the Word of God and appropriate it, then I am less likely to be deceived.  God is the creator of heaven and earth.  It starts there.  This helps me discern deception.  There is a pattern of deception.  Satan is the author of deception from the beginning.  If you watch TV, you will see deception.  (Chet)
  • Deception comes from people not checking things out – being irresponsible.  We don’t understand deception; we are used to living in a free society and don’t look at what is going on around us.  (Jim Ijames)
  • When we reject the truth, God gives us over to a reprobate (debased) mind.  (Mark)

And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting… Romans 1:28

2) What about those who say “God would never judge those people, they are good people? 

  • It will come down to this – if you reject the principle that Jesus is the Messiah, then you are open to all kinds of beliefs.  (Chet)
  • We want comfort so much that we are unwilling to disagree with others.  So we are compliant. (Mike)
  • The only thing that matters is Jesus Christ and everything else is secondary. (Gordon)
  • 50 years ago, I reached the zenith of self-deception.  I came back, but some never did.  When I came to a knowledge of the truth.  I wasn’t completely wrong, but was still deceived.  At the core of deception is fear.

3) God has not given us a spirit of fear.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. II Timothy 1:7

So God has not given us a spirit of fear.  If He didn’t, where did it come from?  (Gordon)

4)  To become a believer is to become a miraculous incredible experience

If you think you are a good person, talk about how amazing God’s faith is.  The human body has 32 trillion cells – how can evolution do this?  It is a work of the Holy Spirit that brings us to God.  (Greg)

5) Yoga is subtle and easy to embrace.

  • At the core of yoga is a belief in a polytheistic world view.  (Gordon)
  • I have friends who practice yoga, encouraged by friends who are not true believers.  They even do it in church.  Yoga is subtle and is all over the place. I have to pray on my knees and turn them over to the Lord.  (Chet)
  •  Those who came to influence your friends came in very friendly. Satan comes in very small ways. (Mike)
  • We are to meditate – upon scripture. [God is the object of our meditation].  (Gordon)
  • I saw a lot of people [in the Philippines] going to Yoga, but they forget God.  We need to meditate on the Word of God.  (Santi)
  • The Word of God addresses eastern religions and practices:

For You have forsaken Your people, the house of Jacob, because they are filled with eastern ways; They are soothsayers like the Philistines, and they are pleased with the children of foreigners.  Isaiah 2:6

6) The basic Christian life is that we share what we have with others. 

We have not been taught that in our culture.  With mine it was sharing with family.  We don’t necessarily share with neighbors.  How do we share with others in today’s culture? (Chet)

  • You have to first love that person.  (Mike)
  • We had a garden growing up in WWII.  It was the norm – everybody helped each other out, because everybody was the in the same boat.  In the 50’s and 60s, prosperity came, and we left that behind.  The basis is Jesus. (Jim I.)
  • A singer recently said: “Give with what you have given, with love.”  (Mike)
  • Vicki prays and ask God to show her how to use her gifts to help others.  I need to do the same. (Chet)
  • Third world countries have a higher spiritual level – they are thankful.  On a mission trip in another country, people have gardens, and they share everything.  (Greg)
  • Jesus Christ the King Church needs assistance in a poor county, but are doing amazing things. They put up churches all over the place.  Reminds me of people of the Old Testament.  They shared with each other.  (Santi) 
  • One way to give is to give $5 or $10 and a short article to people you see on the street who are asking for assistance.  Here is an example:

Your Ticket to Heaven

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.   Jeremiah 29:11-13

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.      John 3:16

You Can’t Dabble in Porn – Gold Nuggets from Christian Business Men’s Zoom Session

In 1930, in the midst of the Great Depression, people were jumping off of skyscrapers to their death because they lost everything, and had no identity apart from their material possessions. A small group of businessmen came together and asked what can we do? This led to the formation of Christian Businessmen’s Committee, an organization dedicated to bringing the saving Gospel of Jesus Christ to a hurting world. There are now CBMC chapters all over the world, including one in Little Rock, Arkansas. You can learn more about CBMC, now Christian Business Men’s Connection, at

The Little Rock CBMC held a zoom session this past Tuesday, October 12. It was very productive, as we gathered in Jesus’ name.  

1) 60% of church going men are involved in porn.  When one out of two men in church are involved in porn, you know it is serious.  Porn – don’t do it.  You become addicted to it.  A man is not attracted to his wife because of it.  It is adultery.  If you follow this, it is a 99% chance of a real adulterous relationship.  You feed the flesh.  You have to die to self. Chet

NOTE:  One of the brothers confessed that he lost his first wife of 20 years because of porn, and became estranged from his children.  This was BC – before Christ, and he was an alcoholic, heavily in debt, and making excuses.  When God changed him, it was instantaneous, and he made peace with everyone involved. 

2) The author of porn is Satan, and it is a real battle with evil.  Jesus was tempted by Satan and he responded by quoting scripture.  We can follow his example.  Santi

3) Porn is a wedge issue – it separates people from God and each other.  Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.  Gordon

4) You can’t dabble in porn.  When it pops up on your computer, don’t click on it.  Porn diminishes women.  Mike

5) Our nation is in deep trouble, and we need to cry out to the Lord for forgiveness and mercy or we will be taken into captivity.  At the recent “The Return” event in Washington D.C., Jonathan Cahn quoted II Chronicles 7:14:

“If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”  II Chronicles 7:14

He then stated: “If you look at the history of Israel, they were constantly breaking the law; that’s what sent them into captivity for 70 years.  This is exactly what is happening in America today.  He took a clay pot and threw it on the ground and it broke into pieces (just like in the Old Testament).  That is what happened to Israel and will happen to the United States.  He is talking to the church: ‘If My people…’  Jim I.

6) If the light of Christ doesn’t shine through us, we are in the darkness.  We should look for divine appointments every day. Chet

7) There are no coincidences (Rule 39).  The closer I can walk with Him, He will take care of the rest of it.  All we can do is make the effort, and God will take it from there.  Jim I.

8) And God is a God of miracles.  Lois Vogel Sharp has a ministry and tells the story that when her baby was born dead, she cried out in the name of the Lord to bring him back to life, and he did.  Mark

9) We are in a blood covenant relationship with God.  In the Old Testament, David and Jonathan exchanged garments, and committed to each other.  We don’t understand the new blood covenant in the body of Christ.  Jesus paid the price with His blood.  When we make that commitment to God, we are in a blood covenant with Him.  We draw close to Him, we understand His requirements, and we try to walk in His footsteps.  He did the blood sacrifice for us.  Look at God’s blood covenant with Abraham.  Abraham didn’t even have to walk through it.  Jim I.

John, to the seven churches which are in Asia:  Grace to you and peace from Him who is and who was and who is to come, and from the seven Spirits who are before His throne, and from Jesus Christ, the faithful witness, the firstborn from the dead, and the ruler over the kings of the earth.  To Him who loved us and washed us from our sins in His own blood…  Revelation 1:4-5

10) Jesus said “Ask the Father in My name”, so we can go to Him and say, Jesus, your son, gave me the right to come directly to you.  Jim I.

11) We are to be living sacrifices to God:

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.  Romans 12:1

We are in unity with the Holy Spirit.  We are living in a continual, streaming miracle – thinking and breathing, resting in that abiding relationship.  Always ask – what would Jesus do.  Rest in Him and see where He goes. Greg

12) How do we establish a blood covenant with Jesus Christ He died for us, so we have to die for Him.  We have a blood covenant with Jesus Christ because he died on the cross, shedding His blood.  When He died for us, we became brother and sister.  We are related to Him by his blood.  We are to devote ourselves to Him.  Santi

13) God is holy, so a blood sacrifice is required to account for sin.  Abraham was ready to sacrifice His son, but God provided a lamb for sacrifice.  God is holy, so a blood sacrifice is required to account for sin.  Mark

14) If a friend gets out of line, we must confront each other. Jim I.

A lady friend came to me and said she told me she observed something in my life that was being a barrier between me and Christ.  Her concern was my relationship to Christ.  Mike

15) Accepting people unconditionally comes first, then we ask God – teach me how to love people.  If we know the word, we can share it with them as the Holy spirit leads us.  Chet

16) We need to be able to perceive and interact with other people at the soul and spirit level, not just their mind or emotions (or their bodies).  Mark