Christian Men as Servant Leaders

Incredible Insights from CBMC Session

January 10, 2023

Women want security, men want respect. Women want to be seen and listened to, while men want to fix things.

  • Listening – really listening, promotes security in women.

Sometimes our communication sounds like this (Casey’s quote for the day):

  • “I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” Alan Greenspan

Discussion is a rational interchange about ideas and concepts.

Conversations are interactions of the heart and emotions.

  • Men are better at discussions, while women are better at, and desire conversations.
  • A conversation is not alternating monologues in which while one person is speaking, the other person is formulating their response. This is not really listening.
  • Are we really listening to our wives, and to each other and to GOD?
  • We should listen to HEAR, not just RESPOND.

The Hebrew word for submit is TO DRAW NEAR, to complete the husband.

  • This is a completely different concept than the common understanding of submit.

We husbands must be ready to die for our wives, not do battle with them. We can’t do this in the flesh; only in the Spirit. The Word says they are weaker vessels, so we are to cover and shield our wives.

Most women want a strong male leader, but our culture is very anti-male in the Biblical sense, and anti-female as well.

The media claims the divorce rate is similar, if not higher, among Christians as non-Christians. However, the divorce rate among committed Christians is lower than the average.

We are the bride of Christ. What does that mean and look like?

  • Compared to Christ, we are weaker vessels.
  • We were born to serve and to submit to God.
  • We are to draw close to Him, and when we draw close to Him, He will draw close to us.
  • Even though Christ is complete, we were created with the capacity and desire to be one with Christ. So He is even more complete when we as the bride, marry Christ the groom in the Spirit. The marriage feast of the Lamb described in the Word celebrates this union.

Praying to God is more about praising and listening than asking for stuff. Daniel praised God for everything, and always started his prayers with praising God.

Meekness is power under control. It is knowing when to give grace and mercy, and when to stand up.

We had some relatives who we were estranged from. But when we started serving them and doing things for them, our relationship was re-established. God says: “Blessed are the peacemakers.”

Sometimes it takes our world to be crushed and our heart to be broken to become more compassionate.

Every event in our lives is a parable through which God speaks to us.

We are to be spiritual leaders in our homes, not dictators.

Same in churches – we are called to serve people who are hurting, not run the church like a business.

What does walking in the Spirit look like?

  • Joy, singing in the Lord, praying, looking for divine appointments,
  • A total awareness of what is going on around me and within me – being totally open to His direction.
  • It is always a progression. God has His hands on us, to work through us.

Compelling Portrait of a Relationship

I see her only once a week but only from one to two hours.

Sometimes during that time she might say something to me but usually it is something she says repeatedly every week, something memorized.

She never stops to hear what I have to say. Mostly she just sits there listening to someone else and then she gets up and leaves without saying goodbye.

For the most part, she doesn’t even know I’m there. The rest of the week she doesn’t see me nor speak to me at all. I don’t think she ever even thinks of me or our relationship except maybe on that day once a week. Many times I don’t get to see her even then.

You see, she leads a very busy life and there always seems to be other things more important to her than visiting with me. I miss her terribly. What hurts most is she is my bride to be.

We seem to be drifting further and further apart. It wasn’t always like this. When we first met, our hearts were filled with love and we spent every free moment with each other.

There almost wasn’t any time when we weren’t in conversation with each other. We would talk for hours on end, never noticing the time as it quickly slipped away. We did everything together.

She would dream about our future together. We talked about what we do and how much we enjoyed each other’s company.

We took long walks each and every day. It was a joyous time filled with joy and laughter. I love the way she laughs. She is so adorable to me.

Until we met, she did not know just how precious her life was to me.  Now her eyes are beginning to open and her heart is just beginning to see the depth of my love for her.

But something happened along the way in our journey together. Nothing earth shattering, just a slow drifting away. Her interest in me began to fade. She says she still loves me but her actions say differently. Her visits have become farther and farther apart. Sometimes, she doesn’t come visit me except for a few days a year, usually Christmas and Easter. Every now and then she will call me but that usually happens when she is in desperate straits. I will help every time without fail and she will show her gratefulness for a time but, again, the same pattern returns. I miss her so!

If you see her, will you tell her how much I miss her and my love for her will never end. Thank you.

What? Oh, how will you recognize her? It’s easy, she looks just like…………..YOU!