Just a note to let you know it was great to meet you. I am so impressed that you have such a large family. I am sure sometimes you feel like you are herding cats, and other times that it is just overwhelming. But you have a huge opportunity to make a major impact on the lives of each of your children; it is an opportunity that many people do not have and wish they had. Children are a gift from the Lord, and you have been blessed!
When you are older, and the lure of the world becomes less strong (hopefully), the relationships you have with your children and their friends and loved ones will be more precious than gold. Parents who become estranged from their children, for whatever reason, have an ache in their souls that nothing in the world can fill.
Treasure each moment – they will be grown up and gone before you know it. I understand that your husband has some kids and you have some. Although there is nothing as special as your own flesh and blood, you are in a key position in their lives to love and nurture them – each one of them, regardless of how difficult that might be. That’s our job – to love them so much they will also become lovers of other people.
Remember that each one loves something, is afraid of something, and has lost something in their lives. (Same for each of us). One of my goals in life is to become really good at loving others – really loving them – with the same unconditional love with which the Lord loves us. If we really love our spouses, our children, and those around us, we will do all we can to hold them up, support, and nurture them, with no conditions – no expectations of it being returned. If we really learned how to love them as the Lord loves us, do you think they would ever stray from us? We would become so indispensable, so much an integral part of who they are and want to become, that to do so would be unthinkable.
I heard a story – I believe it is true, about a woman who wanted to divorce her husband. He was a rat, she was fed up, and she wanted to ditch him and get on with her life. She was seeing a counselor, and the counselor asked if he had treated her poorly, and she replied that he had. The counselor then asked if she really wanted to get even with him before she ditched him. She said yes. So the counselor recommended that for the next three weeks, she really care for him – be sensitive to him, nurture him, and really meet his needs, so that after three weeks, when she dumps him, he will experience the maximum pain.
So she followed the plan, and after several weeks passed, the counselor contacted her to find out the latest, and if she dumped him. She said “are you kidding? He has responded so well, that we are getting along better than ever before”.
But this kind of love is only possible as we draw close to the Lord. The Lord has plans for you – He is calling you for a greater purpose, one that no doubt involves your family. The Lord is seeking a close relationship with you, which in my experience is the most incredible thing in the world. But it requires our spending time with Him, and a surrender of all of our problems and our lives over to Him. As the author C.S. Lewis stated: “God can’t give us happiness and true peace apart from him because there is no such thing.”
Be blessed this day. Let’s stay in touch.
In His grace,